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The first thing he observes about the old familiar blue van is that it isn't remotely old. Seems like it's only been in use a few years. The key still in the ignition has a brand new keychain. And it starts up with no trouble at all. His people haven't had an operational one for ages. John Locke vanishes and a handy van appears---perhaps next he could swap out Jarrah for a nest of tame little rabbits?

( Island drive )

Ben leads Alex carefully further in the direction of the beach, hunting the missing Richard and Kate. Seeing no evidence of a skirmish or other danger, he whips out his CocoPhone.

With a glance at it, he remembers the long process, the months of analysis, debate, and development that went from "Hey, Ben, the computers here sure are old!" to the point at which he's holding some of the most advanced technology in the world in his hand. And yet, with the Flame gone, the CocoSystems engineer Mikhail MIA, and all of his other phone-carrying operatives save one murdered, Ben realizes that at this point, he's basically holding a glorified walkie-talkie.

He calls Richard.

Current Mood: discontent

Climbing out of the pit. Gasping, nauseous.

Walkie, broken. Great. Phone signal still out. Well, the Flame went up in flame and the Looking Glass drowned, so that's two out of three backup systems out, and for all he knows, his house has been ripped apart in a tornado of black smoke by now. Summoning it sure doesn't mean controlling it.

So that's fire, water, and air, and here he is, in a pit of earth. All the classical elements--Empedocles would be proud. He would also say that life is an endless battle between Love and Strife for cosmic supremacy, and Ben is strung up in the middle for a handy punching bag.

There will be no way to reach anyone until he makes it back to the Village, not that far of a walk from here. In his secret room, he'll be able to reset all the ultra modern technology supporting the phone network, and then see if anyone picks up. It's a safer bet than trekking to the Temple---

If the secret room still exists. ...If the Village still exists, if the Temple... All he knows so far is the damn Dharma corpses are still hanging out, and stuck a little bit to the Halliwax jacket he discards in the pit.

The Wheel is supposed to control space and time... Maybe it's years earlier. He's not a forensic anthropologist, how should he know from the evidence? Maybe he can go find his younger self and tell him to hug his daughter and retire early.

( To the Village )

Benjamin Linus was not surprised.

He had always been a believer. And yet, as the years dragged on and the man he followed refused to grant him an audience time and again, he began to get testy, began to want answers that he'd never needed to seek out before.

Now he had the biggest answer of all.

No, he wasn't chosen, he wasn't here because he was special. He was here because he was useful, and Jacob had finally found his ultimate use. It was all a giant setup.

Perhaps to bring John Locke into power. The man who walked right out of a wheelchair while he developed a deadly tumor. He'd played up John's apparent communion with the Island to play him into his hands, but in the end, he was the one to get played.

Or perhaps just to sacrifice, one more chance to suffer, and why not?

His whole life was one big joke.

Ha ha.

( Turning the wheel... )

Current Mood: indescribable

I'll be on my porch. I needed some air. Spent too much time cleaning house.

Current Mood: contemplative

Reminder: This is a two day intensive spread out over three days in order to maintain our usual level of vigilance. Please review the attached schedule for your stations during breaks if not already previously assigned.

Here are the locations for assembly. Refer to your group's schedule and report at the noted hour.

TECH: Tom's den
WEAPONS: My house (communal breakfast) followed by Pylon W-8
COMBAT: Village center, then follow Richard

Bring any weapons personally issued to you to both my and Richard's sessions.

Re: questions about the limitations on Internet usage. May I remind you that all steps taken are following the recommendations of the TEC and pursuant discussion. This was a community decision-making process wherein we agreed that visitation access to the world wide web was allowable for surveillance purposes, but that any engagement with outsiders through that medium had danger written all over it.

I think I've been very magnanimous considering my original stance on this whole idea. ~~Now that I have Wikipedia and the ability to edit it unlike the rest of you, I'm all in favor~~ If you want to be able to get a Facebook and Tweet and so on, I'd be happy to let Jacob know where your priorities lie.

Should you prefer to share in the same mundane, purposeless existence that drives 99% of "social networking," the sub will be departing shortly after the intensive so Richard can carry out some critical work. You are welcome to leave with him, but you will not be welcome to return. Ever again.

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time voting on the quality of "LOLcats" at four in the morning and wondering what your life could have been.

Any further questions/comments, please reserve for your tech session.
After Mikhail's done with you all, you will be able to competently explain IP masking. You will also understand the correct protocols for using SMS. You will even learn how to use some of the nifty apps Mikhail has built us. I'm particular to Island Sounds. It's a lovely companion to offset the dank, metallic quiet of the stations we are called on to man.

That's all. I'm headed back to work with Richard. And Mikhail. All communications directives still apply. Don't contact me short of high level emergency.

Examples -
High level emergency: A plane crashes on the Island - it's happened before
NOT a high level emergency: You are running low on baking soda. Kitchen emergencies do not apply, though I do frequently consider them to be very serious

Current Mood: working

I see you all have decided to abuse the bulletin system now that SMSing is off the table.

I will provide a few responses here. I don't have time to go dig into all these "threads." Richard and I are extremely busy with our work to ensure that all of you emerge from the intensive at the top of your skill level.

1) Your presumptions about the reasons for the intensive section divisions Tom posted today are incorrect. Those of you who think you've somehow been judged to be at a "remedial" level need to remember that you were all brought here for a reason. You are all exceptional people who've made a strong commitment to protecting this Island. You should not forget how greatly you are all valued when Mikhail is explaining to you how to refrain from pressing the "send" button fifteen times on your CocoPhones.

2) If notes regarding my house pet confuse you, that's not my problem. Nor is it my problem that I like Shakespearian references. How do you know I haven't secretly had her for more than three years? Did you stop by to check?

3) Whatever you think you heard around here and decided to share extensively, Aldo, you just made it obvious you weren't at your post. You know, I think it's been a while since we gave the latrines at the Hydra a thorough scrubbing. It's very generous of you to volunteer for this task and I'm sure everyone will appreciate it.

Colleen: Danny is hereby stationed with you at the Hydra indefinitely as per Harper's suggestion. I'm sure a great deal of extremely close proximity will do wonders for your marital problems. :) Oh, and please let Danny know my face is recovering just fine from his little mistake.

Richard: My mind is beginning to come up with all sorts of possibilities for what "things" you've been out doing. You should start to be more specific.

Current Mood: busy

Aldo's on rock breaking duty. Indefinitely.

I warned him.

Current Mood: aggravated

46DSbjheeiuew77777723333333333330999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999dgfpgdf;mdfmb;'
'./
.'u/.k
'/
j

[COCOSEND]

[NEW MESSAGE {Aldo} boss?]

43jtoijjiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu m m mmmmmmmmmmmm

[COCOSEND]

[NEW MESSAGE {Aldo} boss i think juliet is sitting on ur phone maybe]

?K>';il';;uil';lgk'l;hgj';lkgh[poo;l'yuih[op;l'67rythgpoik;l56rutygo[p;lk6r5utygpoik;l56u6tyhgfpok;ltyghfpko;lhgf

fgnfn
fn
fn
fng
fn

fng'fng
'nfg

[COCOSEND]

[NEW MESSAGE {Aldo} here kitty kitty]

Current Mood: adefteoipppppppppper
Current Location: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I have to agree that the duc d'Enghien controversy alluded to in the French Empire section of this Napoleon Bonaparte entry is NOT presented up to the neutrality standar

Dammit! Burned the toast again.

Juliet....

Won't you come curl up with me?

You were so gentle, just listening to me play the piano...

Please... it would be so nice to have a warm body beside me...

I promise I'll sneak you a full can tomorrow if you're good...

Come here.. Come on! Stop hissing. There's no need to hiss.

Oh, don't do that. Stop---I said DON'T HISS. Just calm---come on now---JULIET I SAID

.........

Fine. Who needs to pet you anyway.

Current Mood: lonely

*sigh*

It seems that not three minutes passed after my previous post before a number of you decided it was appropriate to "alert the leader." I can assure you there is no crisis situation underway and Mikhail aggressively tested the entire system before launch & announcement, thus no need whatsover to use this option at this time. [EDIT] REMINDER: Sending the disarm code AUTOMATICALLY activates 14J as well. There is no need to test either of these options.

The pylon SMS leader alert text activates the EXACT SAME PROTOCOLS as the standard alert. My phone was ringing off the hook. Not to mention the apparent attempts to use the pylon SMS to send me specific messages. While the SMS system WILL deliver specific messages following the insertion of 14j, this is an incorrect usage of the protocol.

You are NOT to use this function to contact me directly with sensitive information. You are ESPECIALLY not to use it to submit information to me that is inconsequential. The protocol for contacting me will be laid out shortly. REMINDER: ALL PERSONNEL ARE TO CONTINUE TO CARRY & UTILIZE THE WALKIE SYSTEM UNTIL ALL COCOPHONE PROTOCOLS ARE RELEASED.

To answer a selection of your questions, though:

1) Maxie, you only need to type 14j once before sending.
2) Hello to you too, Aldo.
3) What exactly is "b00bz", Aldo? Is that what I think it means? If so, please see previous bulletin re: guideline #4.
4) I did feed Juliet this morning, Ethan, and yes, half a can as we discussed.
5) Yes, this works, but I am not as amused as YOU apparently are, Danny, according to the "haha" preceding the inquiry.

Honestly. If an ex-Soviet who prefers his hard drives in kilobytes and a man possibly older than time itself can figure this new technology out, the rest of you have NO excuse.

We have just set up the entire Island with one of the most advanced small scale systems available in the modern world. This was not thrust upon you to daze and confuse you, it was in DIRECT RESPONSE to the community initiative prompted by the findings of the Technology Exploration Commission re our current hardware setup. Perhaps you could try saying "Thank you, Ben!" instead of harassing my inbox with idiocy.

Any more nonsense and you will all--yes ALL---be sent for a rudimentary educational session with our new technology intern Vanessa. May I remind you she is seventeen. And knows far, far more than you do.

Yes. Yes, that is shame you're feeling. Bathe in it. Bathe in the shame.

Current Mood: aggravated again

We have activated additional methods for adjusting the level of/disarming the pylons. This will allow all authorized personnel access to the pylon system regardless of proximity to the system or access to grounded communications equipment.

For those authorized to use the new CocoPhones, from now on, along with using the built-in keypads on the pylon system, you may also use these two new methods:

A. SMS SERVICE

1) Start a new text to "PYLON+[code of pylon]" (ex. PYLON37 / 7956637 )
2) Type message
- To change level, type "lev [number, range 1-10]"
- To disarm, type "dis [current disarm code]" (ex. 1623)
- To alert leader, type "14j"
3) Hit "CocoSend" (it's the one with the half-coconut icon if you can't read the text)

B. COCONET MOBILE

1) Open JungleBrowser
2) Enter at top: m.theisland.net (you do not need to enter https://, it will redirect)
3) Login with user/pass
4) Select "Pylons"
5) Follow instructions on screen

The rumored Pylon App is still under development. Please use the above methodology for the time being.

Current Mood: working

It's okay, Mister Eight. We can just pretend his obliviousness is part of his charm.

Current Mood: lonely

1) Please advise yourselves of the difference between *INTER*NET and *INTRA*NET.

2) The INTERnet is NOT to be accessed during work shifts.

3) The INTRAnet is not an appropriate place to "spam" with Digg links, Bikini.com photos, the Tumblr, cat videos etc. All such activity will cease.

[AMENDED *Ben] 3.5) Juliet is exempt from #3 including inclusion in said videos

4) ANY INDIVIDUALS PARTICIPATING IN VIEWING OF OR SHARING OF PORNOGRAPHY ESPECIALLY WITH UNDERAGE MINORS OF VIRGINAL EYES =~SUCH AS MY DAUGHTER~= WILL BE REMANDED TO ISABEL FOR INVESTIGATION AND TRIAL AS PER SECTION II.151.77 ARTICLE 369.23. A ONE-STRIKE POLICY IS IN EFFECT.

[AMENDED *Tom] 4.5) Manhunt.com is hereby *sigh* removed from the Prohibited List EVEN THOUGH IT IS QUESTIONABLE

=======

The above proposed ~~rules~~ guidelines will be subject to community vote given any further ~~dissension~~ amendments. If there are no further amendments, the above will immediately be entered into effective law re Section IV.85 Article 16 of bylaws.

Period of comment will close at 0300 following this posting.